I hope you didn't just eat...

And if you did, I REALLY hope it wasn't a plate full of brussels sprouts.  Side note, did you know they were called 'brusselS sprouts' and not 'brussel sprouts'? I just discovered this the other day.

But who fucking cares really cause they are the work OF THE DEVIL!!!!!!!!!

Seriously I consider myself a laid back eater.  I eat just about everything normal.  And my standard of normal is anything below that baby chicken still in the egg that they eat somewhere.  Sorry, that's not normal.  I know it's normal in the part of the world where they eat it but clearly they don't have pop tarts there.

Regardless, I have never liked brusselS sprouts.  I like cabbage.  I like all the vegetables that smell like farts when you're cooking.  But I could never get behind the lowly sprout.  It was sort of like biting into a bitter, rotting marshmallow with some leaves stuck to it.  Blech. I just gave myself a chill even imagining it.

I did recently however find this recipe and it made a believer out of me.  I could eat brusselS sprouts this way every single day and be quite happy. It's loaded with cream and lemon and is just deluscious. It's like someone took brusselS sprouts and turned them into a chocolate dipped pepperoni pizza, deep friend and rolled in buttered popcorn.  You know you want some.

Find the recipe here:

Totally does not taste like rotting flesh brussels sprout recipe.

Don't these look good?  THEY ARE!!!

Alas, I knew a good thing couldn't last forever.

This past weekend my husband and I were at the grocery store and discovered the horrifying truth.  Look away now if you don't want to barf up your breakfast...


Dear god what is that thing???

Yes folks, this is how brusselS sprouts actually grow.  On some sort of phallic stalk thingie.  And they are just budding off of it like some nasty, alien, pustules.  Just waiting to be popped.  Essentially they are the genital warts of the vegetable world.

In fact if the brusselS sprouts growers of the world need a tagline, and need to combine both the one good recipe and the fact that they look like a disease you get while in port, I suggest:

BRUSSELs SPROUTS- Hey, there's cream for that now!

And now I'm going to be sick.

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