It's Father's Day this weekend. At least in the US of frigging A it is. I don't know about anywhere else. And frankly I don't care. Cause all the fathers I care about are American. Okay, the father of my children is not. But he'll celebrate it on the American date and like it.
I thought though that I would give a short chronology of fathers in popular culture and how times have changed:
1950s- Mr. Cleaver, upstanding citizen.
1960s- Andy Griffith, upstanding citizen.
1970s- Mike Brady, upstanding citizen with afro.
1980s- Mr. Cosby, upstanding citizen with ugly sweaters.
1990s- Dan Conner, upstanding citizen with weight problem.
2000s- Raymond Barone, upstanding citizen with big nose.
Okay, wait so times really haven't changed, have they? Do these dads remind you of yours? They don't remind me of mine. Are we presenting an idealized view of parenting and fatherhood on these programs? Of course. And thank God because we all pretty much suck in real life.
So thank your dad for doing all those shitty things. Like working too many hours and not coming to your school play. Or maybe for making you play basketball because he played basketball even though you hated basketball and were horrible at it. Or maybe for abandoning your mom, or maybe for favoring your older brother over you. Or maybe he supported Liverpool (puke) instead of Manchester United. Thank him for all those bag of douche traits. Because all those shitty, horrible things he did made you who you are today.
And if you're reading this I can assume you're at least not on drugs or in jail. Okay, you could be in one of those jails with internet access. Cool! Having readers in jail makes me edgier. And I guess you could be on some kind of drug that compels you to read lots of nonsense on the internet. That's one useless drug.
My point though is that as evil as your dad may have been he's contributed to you being the awesome human you are right now. And even though I probably don't think you're awesome and your dad probably doesn't either, I'm sure somebody does. Tell them to thank your dad too.