Why you shouldn't advertise your business

So much uproar on Etsy right now with the roll out of the new search ads.

Should you buy one?  Should you not? Should you advertise your whole shop or a few items?  Or maybe someone else's items?  Is that even an option?  How would that help you?  Is Etsy just a giant spaghetti monster where one strand is Etsy, another facebook, another google and the last ratemypoo.com?

These questions really need no answer.  Cause the conclusion you all need is obvious.  Don't bother advertising.  

Yes folks, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.  Why?  Cause it's right.  And when you're right, why bother listening to anyone else's opinions or advice?  They're just wasting your time- you know since you're cushioned in the bubble wrap of rightness that is your opinion. 

But really advertising is a waste.  I once spent $5 to put my Etsy shop url in the program for an elementary school Christmas pageant.  I only got one visit and the person sent me a nasty convo about how my items were so inappropriate for children.  And that experience told me everything I need to know about marketing and advertising.  Don't do it.

Sure, you could spend tons of money and get a sale here or there.  Maybe even a good number of sales.  But I can pretty much state with certainty that you won't get as much joy out of those sales as if you spent your allotted advertising budget on a puppy or perhaps some Hello Kitty pasties.  And therefore the logical conclusion is nipple decorations are more effective for you than advertising.  

You may already be dismissing what I'm saying as hogwash.  Heck, you might've be chuckling to yourself thinking, "sure knot.  save your advertising dollars.  there will be less competition in the marketplace for me! muwahahaha!"

First, stop right there.  I'm the only one allowed to do an evil laugh on my blog. Check out my blog policies (which you can only see in the transaction email you receive after buying something in my shop).  

Second, see that?  I lied.  I said you could get my blog policies after you buy something from me.  That's not true.  They're sewn into the lining of every cozy I make so you can see it after you actually receive the cozy and leave me positive feedback.  Muwahahaha! (that's me doing the evil laugh.  Totally within the rules).  

Third, yeah, I lied again.  Why?  To prove a point. Which one?  That lying is better than advertising.  It's really the whole basis of advertising.  "hey, come buy this great thing at a great price!"  Shyeah right.  That may be true in some cases.  But in reality it's "hey, buy this great thing that's more expensive than the one just like it where the seller isn't spending any money on advertising!"

Conclusion?  Liars advertise and non advertisers prosper.  Try to find all those ads from shops that aren't advertising.  It's a new thing I'm going to refer to as "browsing".  Buy from them.