Yes, I'd be a Scientologist for you

Even if you are wearing a Vito Corleone hat for no apparent reason.  And are a short arse.  Well, unless your hands are smaller than mine.  That's a deal breaker.

His hat adds height

Reading this article about Tom and seeing that he looks indeed as good as ever, it made me start wondering what religion I'd become and for whom. Yes, I think I would be a Scientologist if I fell in love with Tom. He's good looking, wealthy, has nice hair, etc.  I really don't think Scientology is that much for him to ask.  It's a few afternoons starving yourself on a treadmill or something.  I'm up for it.

I think I'd become Jewish for Daniel Radcliffe.

Don't worry.  He's legal in this picture.

I think I'd be Buddhist for Orlando Bloom.

His arrow makes me quiver. Get it? Nope? Shut up.

I'd become Catholic for Gerard Butler.

I'm already Catholic so this one doesn't really count.

And I'd worship Barry for Gordon Shumway.

He'd have to shave his back though.

Now before you go, "Oh she's sooo shallow for changing something as fundamental as her faith for her man" think of it this way.  Well, there really is no other way to think of it.  You're probably right about me being shallow.  But I'm willing to admit I'm shallow for Legolas.  And I will spend a long time thinking about myself and evaluating my sense of self and purpose while I put sunscreen on Gerard's back.  Think about that while you're falling asleep on your big pillow of integrity.

Luckily I have a partner without religion.  So I just have to suffer Liverpool FC instead of eternal damnation. I'm really not sure which is worse.