SPRINGFIELD, NJ-- Society was appalled and outraged this morning when local woman Diane Lupton decided she simply no longer gives a fuck.
|See that pile of give a fuck? It's not mine.|
"Oh yeah, I used to give a fuck. Like really give a fuck. You know whales, politics, solar flares... the whole enchilada. But I realized lately that it makes no difference and only takes away from my Real Housewives viewing time. So I say, fuck it."
Rebukes were swift from area activists and professional angsters. "How could she? Doesn't she see all the problems we have," said the President of the Fed Up Constantly Klub. Members of the City Council added, "well just add her to the long list of people who already give so little of a fuck, they don't mind that we constantly raise their taxes and our salaries...muwahahahahaha!"
When we spoke to her neighbors they all said Diane was a friendly woman who kept to herself and this was out of character. Choking back tears, the nosey guy down the street said, "I track her every move and usually half her morning was spent reading news sites and becoming enraged. She cared so damn much. It almost inspired me to be a better man. And I'm a nosey, degenerate weirdo."
Diane later said that she may start caring again in the future, but it would probably take a War on Otters or perhaps a new ribbon color for some cause she might not completely despise.